Connections

2006-04-07T02:09:00.000-07:00

Connections

Today I walk through my life,
Today I accept that which is mine.

Today I will choose patience.
Today I will choose Honesty.

Today I am willing.
Amen.

Connections

2006-03-25T07:38:00.000-08:00

Connections

In the middle of the chaos,
There is light.

In the beginning of love,
There is excitment.

In the end of life,
There is regret.

But in the moment you live,
There is eternal happiness.

In the eyes of your love,
There is forever.

In the arms of a friend,
There is comfort.

Within your Heart,
Lies your soul.

Rochelle A Foulk. March 25th 2006

Connections

2006-03-15T00:08:00.000-08:00

Connections

What is the meaning of Drama. What the fuck can I do about being a victim? Why am I a victim? What the fuck. I want to run. But that is not an answer.
thank you
Rochelle

Finish this story....

2006-02-14T03:35:00.000-08:00

http://blog.360.yahoo.com/blog-HpRNImMjdKXScrB5a_dmBmRN4BBR

In the darkness of the club she couldn’t make out the shapes of the women pressed against her body. The only feeling was that of breasts rubbing her back, asses grinding into her pelvis.
The smell.. Oh my.. The smell was amazing. She could sense each woman’s arousal, the soft scent was lingering in her nostrils. The hands were everywhere, pleading, teasing her to come and play.

2006-02-10T15:14:00.000-08:00

http://blog.360.yahoo.com/blog-HpRNImMjdKXScrB5a_dmBmRN4BBR

Click to join Lesbian_SuperHeroes

Early morning sunrises in Arizona are the best. That’s what Hannah loves the most about this desert state. Every morning around 5am with coffee in hand she stands on the porch and looks across miles of plains watching as the sun drips light through the sky. This morning was no exception, as she stood there with her coffee. Her five foot and eleven inch frame relaxed with the sounds of the birds and serenity of the critters that poked their heads to check the plains for breakfast.
After thirteen years of being married life doesn’t get any better, she headed back into the house. Watching Ruth in her morning attire, she looked beautiful. The brown hair flowing as if alive and her movements graceful. They always seemed to know how to move together since the beginning, even in those tiny apartment kitchens.
Hannah retrieved the cream cheese and bagels from the refrigerator while Ruth put the coffee on the table. Sitting in the morning was one of their favorite things, no talking just being comfortable in the golden silence.
They smiled at one another, content in this peace and harmony that was their life.
“So am I ever going to get to wear that shirt?” Ruth asked, her lips turning down to show her mock frustration.
“What? I love this shirt it reminds me of you. That’s why I wear it.” Hannah said
“I know that, but am I ever going to get to wear it?” Ruth smiled.
“I haven’t worn that shirt in months you know, since that day at the park for the barbeque with our friends.”
“Hmm that was a good time wasn’t it? I really enjoyed the food.”
“Yes but the shirt. Its mine you know , so don’t get any funny ideas of confiscating it.” she said firmly, but smiling.
Hannah wisely buried herself in her coffee smiling, loving the friendly banter when she did wear it.
They quietly got up together putting all the breakfast items away. Washing up the small amount of dishes in the sink Ruth began humming. Hannah smiles loving when she does that, takes Ruth by the soapy hand and twirls her once. They come together in a dance that has perfected its rhythm over thirteen years.
“I love you, and I love this.” Hannah whispers.
Ruth looks into the eyes of her partner and softly says, “Me too.”
“But that doesn’t save you from taking my clothes. Its still my shirt.”
Laughing Hannah smiles at her partner, “Yes dear it is still your shirt, thanks for letting me wear it, again.”
When the dishes are done they head for the room to change and shower. Another wonderful Sunday with nothing to do, papers to grade or papers to write. Ruth loved their Sundays together as it was the only time during the week that Hannah worked in the yard.
Looking in the mirror she noticed another line forming around her eyes and sighed. Getting older was not one of her favorite things but seemingly unavoidable. Ruth put her hair up in a pony tail and washed her face. Today they were conquering the weeds in the flower garden. She had been after Hannah for weeks to do this but now finally they were. Ruth smiled knowing Hannah was only doing it because of the dinner party that evening otherwise she probably would have another excuse ready.
Ruth walked from the bedroom to find Hannah bent over in the closet looking for her yard boots. She smiled, that was another reason she loved Sundays working in the yard. At 37 years Hannah was still a knockout in worn blue jeans and a white t-shirt. That was Ruth’s favorite outfit on her, even more so than the tailored suits she wore to teach. Ruth would forever love her in that old garb, remembering the day she fell in love with Hannah.
Fourteen years ago in California, on Mable Murtoch’s Farm….
“Hey Mable, how are you doing this morning?” Ruth asked.
Friends for the last ten years Mable smiled that crooked smile that endeared her to many as cute and loveable.
“Hmm.. Good ? Its morning, what’s so damn good about it?”
Mable was not a morning person without coffee and a cigarette.
Ruth sat on the porch with her friend silently knowing better than to argue. The farm was a pretty place for outside of Sacramento, it made you almost forget the hustle of the city. Ruth noticed Mable was lighting another cigarette and that the coffee was half gone. She decided it might be safe to tell her best friend that she invited someone to help. She loved her like a sister, but Mable was a tough cookie. She knew that Hannah was in for some hard grilling and well no one ever seem to measure up to Mable’s expectations for Ruth.
“Sleep well?” Ruth started tentatively.
“Late night, you know , where were you last night? We always go to the club on Saturdays.” Mable eyed her knowingly. She may not be a morning person but she didn’t miss a beat. Ruth was nervous and it showed.
“Hmm? Oh Yeah well I had a date and she took me to dinner. I left you a message. Didn’t you get it?” evasive tactics, good girl Ruth.
“Message you call that a message? ‘Hey Mable, can’t make it tonight, will see you tomorrow at eight am. K? love ya.’” Mable put on her best mock Ruth voice.
“Your best friend for ten years and that’s all I get? Who is she, where does she come from. Do I know her, is this what you have been keeping from me for last two months? Details!! Sheesh you’d think I was chopped liver or something.”
Ruth smiled knowing that this was coming, she sighed. Mable was right she usually told her about everyone she dated. She had held back, she couldn’t tell Mable that her insights to her girlfriends were hard to hear. Ruth really liked Hannah and didn’t want to focus on the shortcomings that Mable would undoubtedly find.
Still her friend looked put out, and she felt bad. Ruth decided no matter what Mable would have to meet Hannah and well if she couldn’t see the good too bad. Mable would still support Ruth no matter what.
“Your right, I am sorry Mable. Please forgive my selfishness?” Ruth put on her best angelic expression.
“Quit it, of course you are forgiven. When do I get to meet her?”
“Well I invited her here today to help so you could meet her.” Ruth said.
“In fact here she comes now.” Ruth looked to the drive that led to the house watching as the truck pulled up.
“So she drives a truck huh?” Mable asked eyebrows raised.
“Don’t’ start, She loves that truck ,…..even if it is ugly.” Ruth smiled at her friend.
Hannah got out of the truck Starbucks in one hand and a brown bag in the other, smiling at Ruth and Mable. She walked up to the porch carrying the cups of coffee as something of an offering.
“I bring liquid gold to those approaching the dreaded morning.”
Hannah stated half bowing holding the parcels above her towards Mable. Ruth laughed and looked at Mable, who was taken by surprise because the offering was made at her feet.
“Well she has got your number!” Ruth laughed.
Mable recovered quickly and took the Starbucks.
“Mable this is Hannah Richey, Hannah this is Mable Murtoch my dearest and oldest friend.” Ruth made the introductions pleased that Hannah had the foresight to come bearing gifts.
“Pleasure to finally meet you Mable, Ruth has told me so much about you that I feel as though we know each other already.” Hannah stuck out her hand.
Mable took it and said “Yes it is , wish I could say the same. Ruth here didn’t mention you a bit.”
“Mable you be nice.” Ruth looked at her. Mable sighed and decided she would behave but eyed Hannah suspiciously.
Hannah gave Ruth a hug and sat down taking a cup of the coffee she brought and lighting a cigarette in smooth movement.
Mable looked at Ruth and smiled acknowledging her surrender for now. Ruth seemed to breath a sigh of relief.

Horoscopes By Adam Sandler

2006-02-08T07:28:00.000-08:00

http://blog.360.yahoo.com/blog-HpRNImMjdKXScrB5a_dmBmRN4BBR

Aquarius (Jan 23 - Feb 22) - You have an inventive mind and are inclined to be progressive. You lie a great deal. You make the same mistakes repeatedly because you are stupid. Everyone thinks you are a fucking jerk.

Pisces (Feb 23 - Mar 22) - You are a pioneer type and think most people are dickheads. You are quick to reprimand, impatient, and full of advice. You do nothing but piss-off everyone you come in contact with. You are a prick.

Aries (Mar 23 - April 22) - You have a wild imagination and often think you are being followed by the FBI or CIA. You have minor influence on your friends and people resent you for flaunting your power. You lack confidence and are a general dipshit.

Tauras (Aprill 23 - May 20) - You are practical and persistent. You have a dogged determination and work like hell. Most people think you are stubborn and bullheaded. You are nothing but a goddamned communist.

Gemini (May 23 - June 22) - You are a quick and intelligent thinker. People like you because you are bisexual. You are inclined to expect too much for too little. This means you are a cheap bastard. Geminis are notorious for thriving on incest.

Cancer (June 23 - July 22) - You are sympathetic and understanding of other peoples problems, which makes you a sucker. You are always putting things off. That is why you will always be on welfare and wont be worth a shit. Everyone in prison is a Cancer.

Leo (July 23 - Aug 22) - You consider yourself a born leader. Others think you are an idiot. Most Leos are bullies. You are vain and cannot tolerate criticism. Your arrogance is disgusting. Leo people are thieving motherfuckers and enjoy masturbation more than sex.

Virgo (Aug 23 - Sept 22) - You are the logical type and hate disorder. Your shit-picking attitude is sickening to your friends and co-workers. You are cold and unemotional and often fall asleep while fucking. Virgos make good bus drivers and pimps.

Libra (Sept 23 - Oct 22) - You are the artistic type and have a difficult time dealing with reality. Chances for employment and monetary gain are nil. Most Libra women are whores. All Libras die of venereal disease.

Scorpio (Oct 23 - Nov 22) - You are the worst of the lot. You are shrewd in business and cannot be trusted. You shall achieve the pinnacle of success because of your total lack of ethics. You are the perfect son-of-a-bitch. Most Scorpios are murdered.

Sagittarius (Nov 23 - Dec 22) - You are optimistic and enthusiastic. You have a reckless tendency to rely on your luck since you have no talent. You are a worthless piece of shit.

Capricorn (Dec 23 - Jan 22) - You are conservative and afraid of taking risks. You are basically chickenshit. There has never been a Capricorn of any importance.

2006-02-07T06:14:00.000-08:00

Please may I have more?

2006-02-07T05:54:00.000-08:00

Duality

I am in a space of my own choosing.
How did you get in here?
In side of me I see two people. Sometimes I see them from a different space and time.
Really how did you get in here? Only i reside here. Get OUt!
There are two Rochelle's, some know me well. Others can say that there is another one that is not nice.
Listen to the bitch ramble, god she makes me sick.
How do I rectify this problem. I am a happy, kind person. This who I choose to be. I don't like the other one I see. How do I make her stop.
Bitch I am in control here. Listen up and listen good. you are nothing, hear that NOTHING. I am the one who gets you out of trouble, away from those that hurt you, and free of the ties of a relationship that is killing you.
That is not fair, I am in love and you can't take her away. I don't care if it is hard, not what i expected. I am everything. You are nothing. I can pull myself up. DO YOU HEAR ME?
yeah, whatever. You will be back. I know. You can't live without me. I will be waiting.
I pray that my evil self can be put to rest. I do not want Asshole Rochelle to come about anymore. Leave her here in the depths of HEll for I don't need her again. *puts key in pocket
i will still be waiting.
till next time,
I will continue to bare my soul for I am only whole through the learning.
Rochelle

New book ............ what do you think

2006-01-12T22:30:00.000-08:00

What is the meaning of love? Is it an never ending quest for a soul mate? How do you know when you have found true love? Somehow somewhere should a bolt of lighting come crashing down? I am still waiting for the proverbial shock to send me through to another dimension. Perhaps we are doomed to a lonely existence? No one to go out with on a Saturday evening, cuddle with on Sunday morning. What is this quest for true love?
Okay next question of course I am in a committed relationship so there is no need to find true love. I am happy and loved more than I ever could be or maybe more than any woman could be loved. So I know you are asking yourself did the bolt of lighting hit? Did the world stop spinning on its axis? Or were you just struck dumb for a moment in time. I can answer all those questions with a resounding no. Not to be downhearted though for I have experienced true love, just not in the conventional way of the movies and storybooks. Thus follows an account of True Love.
In the beginning of another time and place I was searching for some type of salvation. The boy down the street, the bad ass that lived down further, and of course the fat country boy who lived with his grandma across the street from my family. There were attractions in different ways but none seemed to fit just right. It is true that being a lesbian is a kin to the story of goldilocks, first there is the too hard, only to find the next is too soft finally settling into this is just nice. My friends seemed to consist of the type that were either way too brainy or extremely morose and morbid. The latter obviously giving my parents some form of heart failure, to the point where certain Rock bands of the eighties were outlawed in my fathers presence. Still being in the state of constant rebellion I found ways to break those little rules and keep them guessing.
We, my brother and sister, and I grew up in an era where MTV was just hitting the scene with a vengeance. We were born into a society of TV and Computers. IBM and Macintosh were the prominent companies and knowing the Dos program ensured you got hired virtually anywhere. There were school dances, team sports and of course computer labs to lose yourself in regularly. In all of this mayhem that sprung up about me I was lost in another world. That is to say most of the family thought so and I am inclined to agree as I found another way to cope with life in general. I didn’t follow in the footsteps of the silicone valley and their new rise in the market of Telecommunications no, I was too wrapped up in Greek and roman mythology in the eighth grade. In the realm of books I found something , admittedly not what I was looking for but something. My mother grew up in a crazy house and found her salvation in math and English, perhaps that’s a heredity thing. But when I could find no more to read I went to music. Such music I never heard, never mind the contemporary stuff that swept through the youth. Moving from fad to fad I saw Bobby Brown come and go, Sir Mix a Lot, Rob Base, to Bon Jovi. There was a new dance to learn every week and a new dress code every day. Being a family that was not made of the money tree keeping up with changes for being cool was not high on my parents priority list. This caused my brother some misgivings, but again I was caught up in the rhythmic sounds of Boston, the Temptations, and George Jones.
So far from the tastes of my peers that fitting in just didn’t happen. Again faced with the “not cool group”, but of course I wasn’t morbid enough for the “loner gang” and the Jocks well I didn’t have much talent there either. I did find something that did interest me, Music. The arts in general caught my attention but there is the ever present practical side of my father telling me that art and writing were not going to pay the bills. I played in the school band for 9 years. Between concert and Marching Band I learned a lot about types of music and keeping a beat. Desperate to fit in with some crowd I assumed that I would know how to dance. After all I did play music quite well, I was in honor band. That does qualify me to have rhythm right?
I was sorely disappointed at the next school dance when I was laughed at by a group of kids for tapping my feet and swaying to “I’ll be there for you” by Jon Bon Jovi. That ended my dancing career rather quickly, but I am a tarus which means I needed to be shown again that I was in capable of getting in a groove. That was in high school when I was sure after practicing for a week that I could do the “Humpty Hump” dance.
Laughed and pointed at again, that did it I was a wallflower for the rest of that dance. I then decided that I was not going to support anymore of these functions again.
Exactly what is it about a group of people who stand in a huddle and point and laugh at you, does this automatically make them in the right? I mean really the did it first so they must have some really good reason for making me feel about as tall as a pile of cow shit. If I had a time machine I would go back and walk up to them, “Excuse me, I couldn’t help but notice that you were pointing and laughing at me. There wouldn’t happen to be a credible reason would there? Or is it that you are too scared to get out there and dance yourself that making fun of me is a form of entertainment? Perhaps you should really consider how you are hurting my feelings, and traumatic experience this will create for me in the future.” Yeah I would of said that. Who am I kidding? If I had a time machine I would go back and bitch slap all of them and then really start dancing . (because I would also have the magic elixir that gave me the power of boogie.) Okay so we can’t go back in time, I know. That’s what some idiot invented High School reunions for, right? So all the ugly, dork kids can go back with their millions of dollars and model girlfriends, of course they could buy new faces and drive the newest edition of any car just to spend three hours still trying to figure out why they forgot to learn how to dance. Sign me up baby!
There were moments of clarity in this cramped eight years of life that we call adolescence and pre adult. They kept me searching , for that elusive yet all knowing formula of just who in hell I really was. I remember my English teacher from the eight grade, we all had one right? Miss. Mohan. She was about five feet with dark hair and always wore turtle necks and long skirts. She always encouraged my writing but couldn’t seem to stop staring at the boy who called himself my boyfriend. I don’t really know how we ended up being a couple. First we were talking and walking to classes together and then in a week the group all huddled up and pointed at us. I think they wanted to see us kiss. Well what do we do when we encounter peer pressure ladies? Yep I did it, kissed a boy for the first time. All I can tell you is @#$#@ and he $#@#% used his $#%#%$$ and Oh my #%$$% god. That relationship lasted about another day. So where do you learn the nuances of kissing? I assumed it would be from watching your own parents kiss or maybe the porn movies they showed my brother and I ? That’s a scary thought. Really, there should be some kind of class with dummys. Just like CPR class, girls on one side and boys on the other, pick your favorite dummy and try the different type of kisses there are available. Your instructor would have his/her Dummy at the front of the class and would show each type of kiss and the wrong way to approach, etc. Sex education is in need of a serious overhaul in this country. Luckliy, I would be doomed/relieved to not having another boyfriend until I was a senior in high school.
I must interject into our story here, to tell you that my mother was the queen of sex education. Not only did her and dad make sure we knew what a porno was she also got out the Encyclopedia. I had picture diagrams to study and reading to do. She talked about inappropriate touching and of course birth control, periods. I love her, not many parents can say they sat down with pictures and pointed out the parts to their children. So I was a sexually knowledgeable person, if you needed to know how babies were made and what the parts were called. No I got most of my education the same most of us did, the Penthouse Magazines hidden in my parents dresser, your friends who were “experienced” and of course trial and error.
You know the song don’t you? “Night Moves” by Bob Segar and The Silver Bullet Band.
“I was a little too tall, could’ve used a few pounds. Dadada…. She was a dark haired beauty with points all her own. Settin way up firm and high….”
Yeah, Music it moves me and takes me back to memories forgotten. Now reading Penthouse Forum was not the most accurate sex education you can give a girl, but it didn’t occur to me that the stories involving two women or two women and a man were the ones I tended to reread. No Didn’t pick up on that one, I just figured the right guy was somewhere else. Turns out he needed tits. Maybe a detachable penis. Longer hair and curves that seemed to fit just right. Yeah that’s him. My perfect guy. Could you change your name to Jo? Or maybe Mary?
I did learn the term Faggot from my father, ironically enough it was involving a temporary teacher who gave me a C on a paper that I wrote on Alcoholism. Now I did spend a lot of time on this paper even had it in one of those shiny plastic paper presentations. My dad helped to proof it and showed me where to find stuff on the effects of Alcoholism. I wrote about scirosis of the liver and drinking to excess. I guess the teacher felt that something was missing, I would learn later that Alcoholism is a disease. My own drinking would lead to me finding a number of books on alcohol. Lots of study material. Naturally my father wanted to know how I faired on this paper. He was a might disappointed with my C. After reading what the teacher wrote he proceeded to go off. Obviously since the teacher was grading my paper and having his own experience with alcoholism expected something more, but in my father’s eyes he was a faggot. So I figured it was my duty to relay the message. I was rather upset with my C too, and damn this teacher. I admit it, a member of the Rainbow community stood up in front of 28 students in my history class and called this man a faggot. I will never be able to make restitution for this personally but I would like to state now that I was wrong. He wasn’t a Faggot for giving me a C. The correct term is Gay.